Can God Really Help You?

Most people are familiar with the story told in the Bible of how Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt towards the Promised Land. God told them that it was a land flowing with milk and honey. As they approached this land promised to them, Moses sent twelve spies into the land to explore it. When they returned they told Moses that it was indeed a land flowing with milk and honey but then went on to tell him that there were giants in the land and they did not think it possible to conquer it. Only two of the spies, Joshua and Caleb, told Moses that they believed that it was possible to take possession. The people began to complain and grumble and as a result of this they spent forty years in the wilderness before they finally entered the Promised Land.

The problem is that so often we become used to living in the wilderness and deep down we are afraid that the Promised Land is full of big bad giants. In the same way that only two out of the twelve (that’s only 16%) spies were prepared to move forward, many people that want to lose weight are actually afraid to. You see, we become comfortable in the wilderness; it becomes a way of life. Even though we don’t really want to be there it feels safe, we know what to expect. Entering the promised land of weight loss is uncertain; it may contain dangerous giants.

Here are a few of the potential pitfalls;
1. Friendships
Friendships often falter when one person loses weight. Slimmer friends might not like the sudden competition and fatter friends may be jealous. If the conversation often revolved around ‘dieting’, suddenly there is nothing in common to talk about. Certain activities may no longer be appealing, for example drinking binges or meals out or maybe exercise classes; suddenly the beginners’ aerobics that you have been going to with your friend for years seems too easy. Friendships are often built on shaky sands and collapse when one person loses weight.

2. Relationships
People that are overweight generally live under the illusion that their marriage/sex life will improve if they lose weight, or alternately that the person that they have yearned after for years will suddenly notice them and fall madly in love with them. This is rarely the case. A sexual relationship should be defined by love and friendship, if it depends upon physical attractiveness then it is intrinsically flawed and no amount of weight loss will resolve the issues. Sexual chemistry based on physical appearance is known to last only two to three years. Once it wears off the relationship collapses very quickly unless there is a deeper love and friendship to sustain it. This is why so many celebrity relationships between beautiful people fall apart; they were only ever based on short term sexual chemistry. Also, if you know that your partner doesn’t want you sexually because you are overweight it wounds you deep in the heart. These wounds will not go away simply because you lose weight.

Weight loss can also lead to other problems in a relationship. For example the other partner may become insecure and jealous. Maybe they never had to worry about competition while you were overweight, but suddenly they are no longer secure in the relationship. Weight loss can actually lead to a relationship breaking down.

Sometimes, when people do lose weight they do find that their secret love suddenly notices them. Unfortunately this is rarely the basis for a successful relationship, particularly as it will be plagued with the fear of putting the weight back on and losing them again. 

Some people, usually men, do not like to be seen out with their overweight spouse and will often discourage her from going to social events with them, or even if they take her they don’t go near her all evening. Weight loss may reverse this, but again it won’t heal the wounds of years of rejection.

3. Fear
Weight loss is often accompanied by fear: fear that you will put the weight back on or fear that you will be miserable for the rest of your life because you can’t eat anything nice. Fear brings misery. Who wants to live in the Promised Land if they are going to be miserable? You might as well stay in the wilderness!

4. A Failed Dream
So often people have a dream of how it will be once the weight is loss. Everything will be alright if they can just lose weight. This can extend beyond relationships. For example, people think that the holiday will be better if they are slimmer and look good by the pool. Or maybe they think things will improve at work if they lose weight. This rarely happens, because you are still you and people around you are still who they are, regardless of how much you weigh.

5. Clothes
Many overweight people think that when they lose weight buying clothes will be easier and more enjoyable. This is not necessarily the case, if you’ve never liked shopping, you probably still won’t. You will still find that the size never fits exactly and there are financial implications to needing a whole new wardrobe!

So how do we deal with this? How do we face up to the problem that deep down we are frightened by the giants in the Promised Land? The answer is simple; we follow Caleb’s example, he said to Moses

      ‘We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.’ Numbers14:30

Caleb knew that if God was for them, then who could be against them. He knew that his God was bigger than any giant in the Promised Land.

We have someone fighting for us that is bigger than any giant in the Promised Land of weight loss. We have Jesus. He won the battle and defeated all the giants 2000 years ago on the cross. We have to stop looking at and thinking about giants and simple fix our eyes on Jesus.

Come on; get ready to enter the Promised Land. It’s flowing with milk and honey and it’s going to be a better life.